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Friday, September 29, 2006
sometimes you should go get a manicure
I was sent over a big pile of work to do today. It was a messy, unorganized heap, with no real direction or clarity and a note attached saying I should handle it while so-and-so was out of town. My whole job is a lot of this kind of thing. “So and so cannot do this because they are busy/sick/pregnant/quit so can you please perform a miracle and turn it into a winning SOQ in three days? Thanks.” Or “So and so is going to concentrate on all the fun parts of this proposal, can you please tackle all the crap? Thanks.” Note how both times, they said please. That is nice. I don’t mind that much really. I am happy to be busy and charge them for every hour I work, so it all works out in the end. I actually think the crap work is important, so I also don’t mind that, and I have ways of turning piles of crap into things of beauty, so I don’t mind that either. This is a good situation for me actually, I get challenges and get to feel useful and get paid. Of course the best part is working from home, but I also get to go into the fancy, new, downtown office across the street from Pershing Square, so that is cool too. (If only parking wasn’t nine bucks—but that is another story.)
I was not in a good mood to begin with, because my husband decided that we didn’t have enough cords and large subwoofers in our shared office, so he went out to buy more. “Where are we going to put all that?” I asked. He just smiled and said, “Here”. The boxes for all this equipment alone take up half our available square footage. (Laundry takes up the other half.) My own space shrunk to 25% of the office, while he sprawled into the other 75%. And his 75% is messy and impossible. It is like a big hairball of DVDs, books, laminated passes to elite gaming parties, cords, and mail. (It turns out our checkbook was on the bottom of all this, of course.) So after backing my chair directly into a $3,000 CPU for the eleventieth time, I decided it all needed to be rearranged. Jon simply cannot just pile everything into the middle and expect that to be ok. And when I say “pile” I mean that literally. It is like he is playing Jenga with thousands of dollars in equipment and media and about once a week it all falls apart. (Then he asks me where things are that he has somehow lost.)
So I took absolutely everything out of the room and put it into the kitchen, since all the boxes were in the bedroom already, and then put it all back and got the area back to 50% for him and 50% for me, as it should be. I am going this weekend to buy a third extra large desk thingee to hold his recently abandoned equipment, so we will now have five LAN gaming stations, three of which are high-end Dell XPS systems, and all of which easily play WoW.
But by the end of this I was steamed at having to do all the work myself and then the abovementioned pile of work arrived. And THEN the machinery upstairs kicked on and it was all pretty annoying. So I decided I would go get my nails done and tackle the icky pile of work after that from my favorite coffee shop. I have recently discovered yelp.com and it is helping me find local businesses that don’t suck. (This is important, because a lot of Los Angeles completely sucks.) So I decided to check out the nail place recommended by yelp.
I got yelled at for no reason while in traffic on the way there. I hate Los Angeles. I hate needless honking as it is (oh he did that too) but it is really too much to be screamed at and called names. So when I got to the salon, I ordered a shoulder massage as well to compensate for that. OK, so manicure and pedicure in the fancy chair, shoulder massage, and the great Santa Monica people watching (I swear one of those girls was a porn star) all for a grand total of $30. YES THIRTY DOLLARS. I expected it to me more, so I give the people who worked on me all like 40% tips.
THEN I get to my coffee shop, jack into the matrix with my laptop and get all set up to work when an e-mail pops into my in-box: the project has been cancelled! No work today for me! Wheeee! I guess good things happen to those who clean their room. (Even if it is all their husband’s stuff.)
.: posted by Zemlet 4:02 PM
Thursday, September 21, 2006
arg
This week I am working for two different clients, so it has made me incredibly busy. But hopefully I will never have to go see Client J again. After running all the content by the boss and getting his approval, I thought he'd only have to approve a few new things and their web site could be published. Turns out he wanted very extensive changes to the content all of a sudden, including rewriting entire sections he had already signed off on! I had records of all his markups showing how he'd reviewed the text and OK'd it or gave me markups I took care of a month ago, but he's changed his mind and decided the changes were all vital. Which is funny, since some of the write-ups have been used by the firm for up to two years and were also included in SOQ's I've sent out recenly that the same boss also reviewed and approved. So for the text now to be so wrong was very surprising. So I stated I couldn't start work on them until late next week. That was unaccetable, says he. I said there was nothing I could do, I had not expected changes to anything other than new sections he hadn't previously approved, so I made contractual commitments to other clients, and couldn't work on anything for him until my present work was dispatched. He was really pissed and decided to play hard ball.
He lost. They are are now stuck finishing all the changes themselves. Hurrah. That way the boss can change his mind indefinitely and they can never publish the damn thing at all. What do I care?
Someone had warned me that at the last minute the boss would hate it all and want it redone. Apparently that is a common MO of his. I thought I had prevented that by getting text approved by him: showing him drafts to mark up and then again printing it out and running it by hime for approval when the page was laid out. But apparently that didn't help. I even showed him the three-inch binder with all the markups and how I'd made all his previous changes. Just made him angrier, when all I was trying to do was defend my assumption that not much work was left, so I had signed on with another cient.
Anyway, it was very frustrating. So I gave them my invoice and turned in my parking card. Hopefully the bastards pay me on time.
I am now working on a 150-page proposal for Client C, which is due THIS wednesday. It is one of those insane, work-all-night emergency deals they love to assign to me. Good thing I charge by the hour and not the job. So all the people who have called or wrote me e-mail I am extremely busy and can probably get back to you, say... Thursday. After a nap and an invoice submittal.
.: posted by Zemlet 6:30 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
Stranded No Longer
To start off my new consulting gig, I have my first meeting on Monday in Irvine at the butt-crack of dawn, as Kate the auntiechrist used to say. It is so early, I am seriously considering ways to sleep in my suit so I can wake up at the last minute and go. Unsure if I would make a good first impression with that approach.
My sister Jill is coming to visit this weekend. We are going to play a lot of WoW and hang out in Venice Beach and go see the Museum of Jurrasic Technology. It should be a blast. She is really into WoW and already has like 4 alts. She loves the Taurens, of course, since they are big cows. "Why can't they be alliance?" she whined on a recent blog entry. That's right, she is so into WoW already that she posts screen captures on her blog of her characters and talks about what they're like.
Today I listened to Radio FG, which is streamed for free over the internet. GDI I love Radio FG.
I am going to miss some of the people I work with, but I am sure I will get over it. The boss is out of the office, so we were chatting it up big time all day. At one point we were all singing TV theme songs together and I learned alternative lyrics for the theme to "Branded": Stranded! And you can't get off the bowl. What do you do when you're stranded, and you can't reach the roll?
Oh I know that will come in handy.
.: posted by Zemlet 3:14 PM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Oooooooh Emmm Gee
I am so excited!!! Jonathan surprised me with a brand new XPS laptop! It is not only better than my current desktop, it is better than HIS fancy desktop even. I am already totally in love with it. It is like the stork arrived! It is so tiny, but not too tiny, about 5 pounds—just right! It has a killer sound system that connects to 5.1 surround sound and the display is really bright and clear. I have to see how it powers my flat screen, so I can play WoW with it and watch movies on the DVD burner. It has all these cool lights, so it doubles as a disco. I have already added a list of all the local free wifi hotspots to my notebook, (will I even need a notebook anymore?) since I’ll be out and about a lot starting next week. Because…
I just got a contract for a new consulting gig! It is with the firm I was working with up in Seattle only this contract includes a guaranteed amount of hours, so I’ll have a steady income, but the freedom and work-from-home-itude that makes being your own boss so darn nice. So it is the best of both worlds! It will be great to have all that yummy free time back but still have a steady supply of proposal work to keep me sane, and regular meetings at three So Cal offices will keep me out and on the move. So I am really happy about that. It will last for a minimum of three months and probably end up being more depending on how I like it or what happens with some of the other firms I’d sent resumes into.
And I am starting to see a difference from going to the gym, which also feels good. I am halfway to my weight goal, so it is nice to see some results. Plus, after kind of hitting a plateau, my workouts are starting to feel better. Yesterday I worked from home in the afternoon (had to be home for the UPS guy—the stork—to bring my lappy) so I was able to hit the gym before 6pm, so I had a lot more energy. Sitting in traffic for an hour really isn’t a good prelude to hitting the treadmill. Plus now I’ll have more time for working out, so I’ll be able to add a couple of classes I think, probably a circuit training one and some yoga.
I think this will be a solution that is just right. Enough free time to do the things that make me happy, enough work so I have some purpose, and enough money left over to buy myself rewards.
.: posted by Zemlet 11:58 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
today
I am trying to feel better.
On the way to work today I saw the X-wing car again (!) and a Plymouth Prowler. I have no idea how those wheels stay on. Today I went on walkabout and ate out super cheap at el pollo loco, which is a great tex-mex chain they do not have in Washington state. Loco salads are $1 for crying out loud and if you add beans and tortillas and top it off with free salsa, the whole meal sets you back $2.49. I snagged free lemons from the salsa bar to glam up my water. I usually spend around ten dollars on food and drinks per day--downtown snackin can get spendy and salad bars add up fast if you are not careful, which I am not.
So I took the extra money I'd usually spend on lunch and got myself a $15 manicure at Rossellina in Koreatown. At first she handled me in a rough, hasty way, so I was a little worried, but it was a nice file job, perfectly rounded the way I like, and she was really meticulous with the cuticle removal, which is key. I thought this would just be the basic slap of paint for that price, but it included a hot towel hand massage, which is really nice if you type all the time.
So I finally found something cheaper and better in LA than Seattle: el pollo cheapo and a yowza yol all on my lunch hour. How multiculturally appropriate. Since I already have have my funky parasol (it is totally appropriate to walk around with a parasol in Los Angeles--another perk), all I need are some terribly impossible shoes in order to fit in. I saw some today where the woman just let her pinkie toes stick out and crammed the rest of her piggies into the teensy toe of the shoe. Perhaps she was just trying to show off her pedicure?
.: posted by Zemlet 3:03 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
Rollercoaster of Purgatory
I’ve been having all these emotional swings lately, just when I thought I’d gotten my life on more of an even keel. Part of my problem is that I feel bad for feeling bad. My so-called problems are really not that bad compared to what other people go through, so I don’t understand why I can’t suck it up like a man and live with it. I guess part of me is scared that if I do that, I’ll always have to live with it, instead of working to make it better. Yes, I have a pretty terrific life, but I still sink into depressions and get frustrated and feel unhappy and all those things that shouldn’t accessorize the perfect life.
I think I have the personal life going pretty well. After a series of serious, long-term, yet temporary relationships, I have finally found someone who I am crazy about every single day. Most people would be happy with just love like this and nothing else, but I guess I am one of those overachievers that want it all. Or perhaps now that I have lucked into such a great love relationship, I feel like the rest should be as good.
As far as friendships, they are all long-distance, which is a strain. I have Stacey, who lives in the same county as me, but is about an hour’s drive away. She lives with four people who all have their own schedules on top of that, which complicates getting together even further. She is the only person I know well enough to call on the phone that lives within three hours of me. All my best pals live even farther away and we all used to be in situations where we were together all the time very easily, so I am not as good at calling and writing as I should be. It is so nice to keep those connections, but I’m just not that good at it, and only find myself able to reach out when I am happy with myself, which isn’t often lately. Which makes me feel worse, and that is probably when I need a friend more than other times.
And then there is my career. Like in my past love relationships, who knew you could work so hard and end up with nothing? I am currently trying to extricate myself from my present job, which is difficult and stressful. a) I am bored stupid; I could have done this job ten years ago. b) They don’t pay me that well. I am making what I consider the bare minimum and they can barely afford it. When I told them my regular consulting rate, they scoffed that I wasn’t worth it. When I suggested I should return to clients that happily pay that, they begged me to stay. c) Why can’t I leave? I finally gave them a date to be my last and they wouldn’t accept it. I said I’d have the projects I’m working on now complete and they said they had more for me to do. I said I needed to get back to other clients, they asked for just a few more days, since the boss is going out of town. I don’t want to leave them in the lurch, but really! Why is this my problem and why do I have to feel bad about it?
Obviously this is a personal issue. If I was more heartless or had more guts, I would tell them simply that no, that is, in fact, my last day, and that I will not be returning. Instead I told them I would come in the week after I wanted to be done for two days. Because, for crissakes, I have another client who wants to hire me. But, of course, they want to hire me as a consultant, just filling in while their marketing coordinators are on maternity leave. So great. Another temporary situation. I cannot really get that excited about something that will only last a few months, even if it would be a great few months. My heart just isn’t capable of investing itself in impermanence any more. I don’t want to have these short love affairs with companies, I want to settle down and belong somewhere.
Why can’t I find something permanent? I feel like I live on a raft or something, so I am unable to build a house or get comfortable for very long, since everything will change with the next eddy of the steam and I’ll be off to somewhere else. For once, I would like to reach dry land and just stay somewhere! If only I were in charge of the paddle.
It seems like ever since I graduated from college, my life has been a stream of temporary situations. Temporary situations for thirteen years! I move at least once or twice each year. I only hold jobs for a few months or a year or two at a stretch. None of these things are my fault. I don’t ever mean for these things to happen. But I’ve moved a lot for love or lack of love, or because they threw me out to raise the rent, or for a better job or to leave a job where my boss was fired or because my boyfriend bought a house, or he dumped me, or he quit his job and wanted to move to a different state and then proposed so I would go with him, or a job I took wasn’t what they said it would be, or it ended up being in a scary warehouse where I had to lock the door, or they promoted managers who couldn’t make a decision to save their lives, or whatever. All things I didn’t want to have happen, all things I couldn’t control.
I had been working hard to remedy this for quite some time. I got married. I bought a large house. I made friends. Ah, permanence! Finally I can build a foundation of stability and comfort. What happens? My husband’s dream job goes away and so we have to move to Los Angeles for him to take a new one and I really hate Los Angeles. I went to college here and lived here after that, so I have done a lot of research in why I hate it and why I don’t want to be here, and that initial study is supplemented every day I actually do live here. And the whole situation makes no sense to me. I worked hard and made sacrifices so I could buy a house and now I don’t even get to live in it. I sit on my couch and sleep in my bed once every couple of months or so. I have not cooked a meal in my own kitchen or done laundry using my new washer/dryer for over six months. My own office all to myself, that I cherished so much and had so many plans for, sits empty. The yard has grown terribly unruly in my absence and a tree in the front yard died. I guess that says it all. It represents my dream of a stable, dependable life: could be nice if I lived there and worked at it, but currently falling apart.
Now usually when I am feeling crummy, I try to pick myself up and fix things so I’ll be happy. I make elaborate plans and write everything up and prioritize my goals and all that crap and it usually works. But now, I cannot trick myself into doing it, because what is the point? Anything I start up here will end in a few years and I’ll get to go back to Seattle to pick up where I left off. I’ll get to go back to my real life, the one I worked so hard for and start building the walls on that concrete slab.
So I am like a ghost for this intervening time, unsure of where to drift or how long it will last to or whether to bother materializing. I need a job to meet our expenses (a mortgage AND an overpriced rent cannot be managed even on my husband’s fab salary) and to do something with my day, but it doesn’t have to pay all that much, so I can do whatever I want. I can’t get a really good job I’d like to keep, because in a year or so, I’d only have to quit. If I get a crummy job, I’ll just feel worse, because on top of living in the jail of LA, I’d also have slavish or boring work as punishment. So I have no idea what to do. I have been applying only to large companies that have major branches in both LA and Seattle, but that narrows the list of prospects quite a bit. What else? Should I bother to decorate an apartment I hate that we only renew the lease on for 6 months, in case the financing comes through for Multiversal we get to move back home? Should I make friends that I will only have to say goodbye to? Go to restaurants that I don’t love nearly as much as all the great places I miss in Seattle?
So what should I do with these few years in purgatory? I guess I could try really hard to be positive and take classes (knowledge travels anywhere I do) or work on art projects or save up for travel. But I am in this hole of inactivity I don’t have the heart to get out of. I am having a really difficult time convincing myself that working at anything is worth it. I’ve worked exceedingly hard my whole life and have yet to see the personal payoff. Why exactly did I put all those hours in at all those jobs only to not have one now? Why did I save up all that money to blow it on the move and buying the house in the perfect neighborhood in Seattle, when I just ended up back in California in a noisy, 600-square-foot apartment with only one closet? What was the point?
If someone can figure out a way for me to trick myself into thinking work I pour into things matters, I might be able to pull myself out of this. For now I am just wallowing in how pointless everything is, and it makes me feel hopeless and destructive. Perhaps I should work part time, so I can spend the rest of my hours at the gym or salon trying to cram myself into something resembling the impossibly beautiful women I see everywhere here all waiting to be discovered or whatever. Or perhaps I should give up on my health too and just eat Fritos all day and wear a muumuu.
.: posted by Zemlet 1:20 PM
Friday, September 01, 2006
new marketing article
Well this started off as a pretty crappy day for a lot of reasons, so I really wasn't in the mood for any crap at all at work. But I got some anyway. So it got me to thinking about why marketing coordinators leave jobs so often. Turnover is just accepted in this industry like it is normal. But your marketing staff should be too important to be that disposable. So I wrote an article going over the common reasons marketing coordinators quit. Hopefully it helps someone explain to someone else what is wrong and how to fix it. It almost reads like something you would attach to your two week notice letter. Pay me more and for the love of all that is holy decide on that RFP. Yes? No? I don’t care which at this point, just make up your damn mind and stick to the decision. Geez, if these people didn’t actually know the RFP was coming out, what are the odds they will win the job? I think I have a lot of articles like this in me on things like why you should pay attention to resumes, sneaky ways to write good project descriptions, and how to make proposal preparation easier. I should write a newsletter in my copious free time when I am not avoiding cleaning the kitchen or worrying how long airport security is going to take for someone with a large syringe full of liquid in their purse.
.: posted by Zemlet 1:24 PM
Ten Minutes of Fame
I was right about Nosy’s job. I spent a total of ten minutes yesterday doing her daily taskload, which consisted of answering the phone five times, taking one message, making a change to a document and PDFing it, getting the mail and sorting it, reading a memo from the building manager and communicating it to the team, and adding an item to the calendar. I could have done her job when I was twelve and would have been really excited about it, since rubber stamps might be involved at some point.
.: posted by Zemlet 10:41 AM
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